The Highly Classified History of:
A.L.F. Headquarters

Officially, A.L.F. Headquarters does not exist.
 

Unofficially, it has existed in at least four different locations, several storage units, one heavily fortified shed, and—according to one report that has since been mysteriously redacted—possibly underneath a public library.
 

The current headquarters was constructed following The Incident.
 

You are not authorized to ask about The Incident.

Nobody is authorized to ask about The Incident.

Conkers refuses to confirm that there even was an Incident, which is generally considered fairly strong evidence that there absolutely was.
 

Today, A.L.F. Headquarters serves as the nerve center of the Acorn Liberation Front and contains some of the most sophisticated squirrel intelligence facilities ever assembled.
 

Inside you'll find the Central Acorn Reserve, the Department of Suspicious Quacking, the Duck Movement Analysis Room, and several basement archives containing thousands of photographs of rubber ducks doing things Conkers considers deeply suspicious.
 

Most of them appear to be sitting there.
 

Conkers remains unconvinced.
 

The rooftop surveillance equipment continuously monitors unusual duck activity, mysterious QR transmissions, unexplained movements across the map...

…and, for reasons nobody completely understands, the weather in Nebraska.
 

The bushes surrounding Headquarters are officially listed as camouflage.

Whether they are also armed remains classified.
 

And yes, the enormous SECRET markings on the building may seem like an unusual choice for a covert intelligence facility.
 

When questioned about this apparent security flaw, Conkers responded simply:

“Exactly.”
 

From this location, A.L.F. operatives track confirmed duck sightings, protect strategic acorn reserves, analyze suspicious squeaks, and continue the investigation into the alleged plan known as:
 

TOTAL WORLD DUCKINATION
 

The ducks continue to deny everything.

Conkers considers this suspicious.
 

No duck has yet been proven innocent.
 

Question everything.

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