🎓📖🌍 Mission 🌍📖🎓

​

Most respected historians agree that Professor Waddlesworth was born sometime between the invention of toast and the discovery that licking frozen metal is a terrible idea.
Unfortunately, most respected historians are wrong.

Professor Percival Waddlesworth III did not technically begin his life at all.
He arrived late to it.

The story begins in the year 1683½, during the little-known Great European

Argument About Who Invented the Sandwich.
France claimed it was French.
England claimed it was English.
Italy claimed everyone involved was an idiot because they had already invented bread.

Tensions were high.
😯😯😯

Then, during an especially heated meeting of the Royal Society, a small yellow rubber duck suddenly fell through the ceiling and landed directly in Sir Isaac Newton's tea.

Newton stared at the duck.
The duck stared at Newton.
An apple rolled mysteriously across the floor.
And Professor Waddlesworth said his first recorded words:

“Gravity. Obviously.”
Newton was furious.
History was made.

Realizing the strange little scholar possessed knowledge centuries beyond his time, the Royal Society immediately appointed Waddlesworth Temporary Assistant Deputy Professor of Things Nobody Had Thought Of Yet.

During his distinguished academic career, Professor Waddlesworth reportedly:
Corrected Galileo's telescope by wiping a fingerprint off the lens.
Told Benjamin Franklin that flying a kite during a thunderstorm was “spectacularly stupid.”
Beat Napoleon at checkers and accidentally convinced him to invade Russia.
Suggested putting pockets on trousers.
Invented the semicolon, apologized, and unsuccessfully attempted to destroy it.
Spent eleven years researching why toast always lands butter-side down before discovering somebody had simply tilted his laboratory table.
Was permanently banned from the Library of Alexandria for refusing to return a scroll.
Then came The Incident.

While attempting to prove that time was merely “history happening before historians have had sufficient opportunity to argue about it,” Waddlesworth constructed a temporal displacement apparatus using:

one grandfather clock,
two magnets,
a brass telescope,
three yards of copper wire,
a wheel of cheese,
and an alarmingly large amount of static electricity.

At precisely 3:17 PM on February 30th, he pulled the lever.
There was a flash.

There was a thunderous
💥QUACK!!!💥

And there was suddenly one fewer professor in 1683½.
Professor Waddlesworth reappeared several centuries later beside The Duck Pond, still clutching the same overdue library scroll.

After discovering modern civilization had invented computers, space travel, nuclear physics, and approximately fourteen thousand television programs about people arguing over houses, Waddlesworth reached one unavoidable conclusion:
Humanity had clearly progressed...
but desperately required supervision.

He therefore established his classroom at The Duck Pond, where he continues his lifelong pursuit of knowledge, educating travelers, correcting historical inaccuracies, and occasionally disappearing into the Restricted Section of the library for several days at a time.

Nobody knows exactly how old Professor Waddlesworth really is.
Whenever anyone asks, he adjusts his glasses and replies:

“Old enough to remember when history was current events.”

Then he waddles away.

Probably because that Library of Alexandria scroll is still 3,700 years overdue...
…and Professor Waddlesworth has absolutely no intention of paying the fine.